I have to say I’m stoked that mercury is going to stop in it’s tracks tomorrow to turn direct. This retrograde period has been taken it’s toll on me. I have been feeling this one in a way I never noticed feeling the others. Besides being a time to avoid buying electronics and cars, or prepare for horrible communications. The retrograde period is also a time to reverse mentally. Mercury is the planet of the thought process indeed. Since retrograde just means apparent backward motion think of ones thought process doing just that. This is what I have noticed recently in my own experience. I have come up against some very old demons this week but the beauty of something like this is that it offers a chance to heal. Heal hurts that can easily be pushed into the depths of one’s consciousness by everyday life. Last night I came face to face with the ghosts of some people I never wanted to meet again. But because of this I was able to feel some rage that I didn’t have the self worth to feel before. Now I feel better able to process the emotions and LET IT GO. The past truly is powerful when we use it for its higher purpose as a tool for learning. It’s been brutal gut wrenching and infuriating but honestly I appreciate the opportunity for healing. I know I am a better being today because of what happened in my mind last night. Of course I have also been experiencing the communication snags, and foggy thinking as well. Grateful and excited for forward motion.


Wandering thoughts

franklin park

Sometimes it’s a good idea to just get out and wander. As human beings its an integral part of being who we are. We are so agenda driven because society has taught us to be just that, but the mind is not agenda driven. Although our minds produce agendas this is not the way it processes life. the mind rolls and wanders, and agendas come or don’t. Ive heard it said that the physical body is a manifestation of the subconscious mind and I have to say that for one thing when I set into motion without a destination my mind does the same thing. I do my best thinking and some of my most inspired conclusions come when I’m on the move this way. It was a beautiful day today which made the idea that much more appealing but I felt pulled outside. Somewhere deep a part of me had to get out and feel the freedom of a good wander and wherever I ended up was ok with me.

Something really interesting happened as I walked this time. I will start from the beginning so this makes since. Yesterday during a yoga session I did a spinal twist and as I enjoyed the delicious stretch of one of my favorite poses I felt something way down deep in my right glut. The best way I can describe it is it felt like a very small part of my body opened for use that had either never been used before or for a very long time. The feeling is in no way painful just new like i’m feeling a spot I couldn’t before so I slept and woke normally. As I walked I felt new muscle engagement in this spot and suddenly I remembered something that happened when I was about 14. I was in the woods exploring with a couple of friends, as we made our way down the slope to a creek bed I lost my footing and fell REALLY hard on my butt. I didn’t go to the hospital but it hurt so bad I struggled to get up and it was sore for several weeks. I never completely forgot the event, I even thought about it when I first felt it. It was that I remembered everything about it like I was there again, down to the sensations and my thoughts.

After I sifted through being teenage Karenga I brought his zeitgeist into the context of now. The feelings produced at an event like this are intense so why wouldn’t they leave a groove in a person especially one so young. An event like this implants a fear of repeating the flub, no one wants to be in pain! I have always sensed symbolism in my experience of the universe and the thing is this happened to me exploring. This is such an integral part of who I am, exploring is what I do so I never thought I had any fear surrounding this. But in reality there had been, the same fear of failure we have all at some point allowed to paralyze us. Think about it, falling on one ass definitely translates failure to the psyche. We even refer to various kinds of failure as “falling on your ass”! I think an old adhesion from the injury got released and with it that experience and the thought pattern it had created. Because of an epic stretch or because it was time I guess is really irrelevant, its all the same thing.

Clorox a symbol of fear


I was talking to a friend about nothing in particular when he shifted the conversation to his mom’s preoccupation with bleach when it comes to cleaning. I was Thrilled that he brought it up once he got it out as I have been trying to convince my own mother to stop using it, to no avail. I got thinking of both our experiences and all I have observed in my life regarding bleach. What I realized was that Clorox specifically was the brand that his mom my mom and everyone I know uses. Bleach is bleach and its toxic so brand is irrelevant to the aspect of physical danger but I couldn’t ignore that for many I know clorox is not a brand but a synonym for bleach. In the moment I thought clorox bleach is one symbol of the mental oppression we are subjected to every day on this planet.

Here we have a product in which the active ingredient is highly corrosive and dangerous. Chlorine gas has a corrosive effect on moist tissues, like the eyes and throat, producing an acid at these sites. Although the chlorine in a bottle of bleach is liquid and is not supposed to release gas, this super corrosive ultra dangerous gas can be released when bleach is mixed with other chemicals. I’m sure it goes without saying that something like this is equally dangerous if ingested. Really I see no reason that anyone would ingest bleach but I can’t understand why this kind of chemical needs to be marketed as a product people should have in there home when there are safer chemical free alternatives. The answer lies in the fact that chlorine is one of the most commonly produced chemicals in the united states. What we now know as the Clorox chemical company opened the first facility to produce bleach on a commercial scale.

The brand was acquired by none other than proctor and gamble a mega corporation that owns a shocking number of the brands you buy at the grocery store and even produces television programming. Television being a showcase for advertisements and some mind numbing “reality” shows this should be a red flag. It’s a very dangerous thing for a company that sells a products to have control over the medium for its own advertisement on such a massive scale. Besides the obvious thought that they could just run their own ads an obscene number of times. The programming itself is a perfect place to put subtle psychological forms of advertising or perception control mechanisms. So we have subconscious cues implanted by the subtle propaganda and solid sensual reinforcement through commercials. The whole hour of tv is designed to coax you into buying clorox, potato chips or whatever. The worst part is all the products advertised to you and the show your watching when they are, are all brought to you by one corporate entity with many heads. The thing is a company like this has unlimited resources and there are other people like me out there who love to break apart what makes people tick psychologically. People who have vast knowledge on human mental conditioning and its a known fact that advertisers often hire psychologists to ensure maximum impact. I choose to use my talent for psychological analysis to help people but money is a strong motivator in a society that has connected it to survival.

We have been conditioned to be afraid of the world we live in, the one our ancestors lived in. There is bacteria everywhere but there always has been! bacteria perform many useful functions like assisting in energy metabolism in the gut, decomposition and even making bread rise (yeast). Yes some are harmful to humans but our bodies have solid defenses called an immune system that is amazing at what it does when we give it what it needs. Viruses only replicate inside of a living host, given that their life’s purpose cannot be carried out outside of a body they tend to not do well in this circumstance. If your just itching to kill some microscopic organisms there are natural antiseptics and even cloths designed to kill bacteria chemical free. At some point bacteria got turned into these evil microscopic monsters called “germs” hell bent on the destruction of humanity and everyone got directed to harsh chemicals as the solution.

The reality is these “germs” are representative of so many different implanted fears. The fear of death is the overarching one, people are taught by the machine that we get this one life so you better keep it at all cost $$ and then reminded that there are dangerous “germs” everywhere. The fear of each other is implanted through prejudices, consistent reports of murder and violence then played on with the occasional threat of a pandemic or attack from “outsiders”. When the situation is seen for what it is its no wonder the resistance is so strong in both mine and my friend’s situations. The people we are trying to reach are constantly bombarded with reinforcements of implanted beliefs to the contrary and subtle cues for the conditioned response of using the bleach. The thing is clorox/proctor and gamble are thrilled to have put dangerous chemicals in so many homes. Not because they are bent on killing us all but because their objective is money making and money making only. Our health and safety is our own concern, remembering this is the key to survival in a society run by money hungry sociopathic state designated people called corporations with endless resources. I’ve heard it said several times recently the the way out is within and I seems fitting in this moment.