Wandering thoughts

franklin park

Sometimes it’s a good idea to just get out and wander. As human beings its an integral part of being who we are. We are so agenda driven because society has taught us to be just that, but the mind is not agenda driven. Although our minds produce agendas this is not the way it processes life. the mind rolls and wanders, and agendas come or don’t. Ive heard it said that the physical body is a manifestation of the subconscious mind and I have to say that for one thing when I set into motion without a destination my mind does the same thing. I do my best thinking and some of my most inspired conclusions come when I’m on the move this way. It was a beautiful day today which made the idea that much more appealing but I felt pulled outside. Somewhere deep a part of me had to get out and feel the freedom of a good wander and wherever I ended up was ok with me.

Something really interesting happened as I walked this time. I will start from the beginning so this makes since. Yesterday during a yoga session I did a spinal twist and as I enjoyed the delicious stretch of one of my favorite poses I felt something way down deep in my right glut. The best way I can describe it is it felt like a very small part of my body opened for use that had either never been used before or for a very long time. The feeling is in no way painful just new like i’m feeling a spot I couldn’t before so I slept and woke normally. As I walked I felt new muscle engagement in this spot and suddenly I remembered something that happened when I was about 14. I was in the woods exploring with a couple of friends, as we made our way down the slope to a creek bed I lost my footing and fell REALLY hard on my butt. I didn’t go to the hospital but it hurt so bad I struggled to get up and it was sore for several weeks. I never completely forgot the event, I even thought about it when I first felt it. It was that I remembered everything about it like I was there again, down to the sensations and my thoughts.

After I sifted through being teenage Karenga I brought his zeitgeist into the context of now. The feelings produced at an event like this are intense so why wouldn’t they leave a groove in a person especially one so young. An event like this implants a fear of repeating the flub, no one wants to be in pain! I have always sensed symbolism in my experience of the universe and the thing is this happened to me exploring. This is such an integral part of who I am, exploring is what I do so I never thought I had any fear surrounding this. But in reality there had been, the same fear of failure we have all at some point allowed to paralyze us. Think about it, falling on one ass definitely translates failure to the psyche. We even refer to various kinds of failure as “falling on your ass”! I think an old adhesion from the injury got released and with it that experience and the thought pattern it had created. Because of an epic stretch or because it was time I guess is really irrelevant, its all the same thing.

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