To all weirdos

karenga ocean

I had an experience yesterday that really just showed me the truth of the old adage high school never ends. Really people are always who they are at the heart of it or in there hearts I guess. Don’t get me wrong, we are more than capable of personal growth but I believe our motives for living never change. This is why some people behave in a certain way their whole life. I met with an entity that I have come up against many times in these 27 years. Sometimes I encounter it as a child, sometimes as an adult. The one who can’t stomach individuality and feels even more offended by confidence. You know this entity as well, the one who’s mission it is to “put you in your place” and keep you there.

Although I have encountered this energy many times I have to say I was dumbfounded. I was actually shocked almost to laughter this time because of the setting and the lack of control this poor soul had over her hijacked mind. This monkey on her back turned her into a fool. I could not believe how vehemently this woman attempted to antagonize me! When I maneuvered out of one attack to my personhood another was swiftly launched. She even attemped mocking my words with another woman in the room who didn’t dare become involved. I can only imagine that even she was surprised to see her colleague this agitated as this is surely not her default behavior. I had assaulted this entity that lives in her by being confident and secure in my identity. For being freethinking enough to have goals that are in line with my passions and not tied to anyone else’s agenda. The audacity of me to be young, black and aware of my strengths, as if this suggests I don’t recognize my weaknesses. Even if I didn’t though I wonder why this particular entity cares so much. The thing is it’s not about being a superhero or even being more or less powerful than another. It’s about some recognizing the power they do have, because even if its minimal it makes them impossible to control or suppress. This entity is called oppression and though there are those at the very top who oppress us all it has been built into society so that we keep each other in line while the real chess masters sit back and watch. Some of us evoke this monster and some are ruled over by it everyday at work because this is the incubator. What many of us fail to see though is that we are all ruled over by it in every aspect of this life, so some believe they are in the position of oppressor and this is the moment the darkness is welcomed in. If only we could all see this construct we are contained in it would collapse, because people like this lady are the driving force.

I have to be honest in saying that although the experience was uncomfortable and the opportunity is probably null I was thrilled to have gone through it! To be honest I have not always been such a worthy adversary to this beast. I have lost my temper, lost my will, had my confidence wavered and lost some tears to it in the past. This time I was ready and unshakable. I sat calmly smiling and chatting politely while she just barely masked the hysterics happening inside because she couldn’t find chinks in my spiritual armor. Upping the ante and waiting for an emotionally indicative response she franticly tried to assert her position to someone who doesn’t recognize her brand of power playing by minimizing others. The truth is there is only one possible chink in anyones armor and that’s concern for another’s opinion. I have learned blessedly recently to silence the ego, for my spirit has no care for people’s perceptions I just am all that I am. Death of the ego spells death for the forces of opression.

For all the individuals who refuse to conform, never stop being you. Uniqueness is beauty.♥

Cyclical life

I have noticed that life, on this plane anyway seems to consist of a series of cycles. There is the notion of this forward marching of time from past to present to future but thats not the nature of things it seems. I had it said to me a long time ago and maybe even in another life as I can’t for the life of me remember who said it. That this life is sort of a series of challenges in the sense that we are presented with the same lesson again and again by the universe until we make good on it. I can say when I look back over my life I see the truth in this although I sensed it from the beginning.

I think about something like mercury retrograde for instance. This is when mercury appears to be moving backward in the cosmos because of being overtaken by earth’s rotation. Retrograde motion can mute and stifle the energy of the planet in question. Mercury rules the cogs and parts in larger peices of machinery, communications of all forms and the thinking process. Therefore during the period when mercury is retrograde these things can be a complete mess. Misinterpreted and mis-delivered messages, mental blocks and broken computers and cars are the kinds of things that can come with mercury retrograde. But there is also the tendency toward having to redo some things that are done during one retrograde period in the next. Were are actually in a retrograde period now and man have I felt it today! This got me thinking though how this is possibly an event in which to observe the idea of lessons from the universe. Maybe the mishaps that happen during a mercury retrograde period are perfectly placed in the life cycle to repeat as necessary. If you get yourself caught in some horrible contract during one of these periods and have to renegotiate it during the next it’s because you are supposed to take away lesson of being sure to read everything thoroughly. If you don’t get the lesson maybe next time your receipt will have an error and you get short changed. This continuing until you put a stop to it by learning to be vigilant. I was thinking about how in my own life i’m repeating the cycle of being “home” or living with my family. This is the 3rd time that I have returned to living under one roof with my parents that means 4 periods of living with them counting the one before leaving the first time. 3 periods going out into the world to return to them with the new experience. So I just got wondering what this all means other than the fact that I run home when shit hits the fan.

When I evaluate the events of this current cycle I see a theme. I wonder if this has been the theme of all my returns. I wasn’t always concerned with really observing my life and my spirit the way I am now so I have no way of knowing but I have repeated the event and that could be the key. I believe this cycle and the events that led up to it where designed to reveal to me the need to purge the false self, to kill the ego leaving spirit in the driver’s seat. I have been tangled in so many situations recently that have required me to make a choice between my spiritual needs and those of the ego. Those of the ego are shallow and really don’t amount to real needs, but I know that without certain recent event I would have never seen this. It required situations that pulled me outside of myself or tried to. You can’t gauge what is important with all in question sitting in your lap. It’s when it is all stripped away that one instantly knows what hold real value to their deepest self. I have been placed for the 4th time into an situation where I have no power the ego’s driving force. I am constantly in situations here where I have to recognize and respect the power of others. This is no mistake and for some reason It came so clear so suddenly. Time will tell I guess but I’m ready to except new ways in a way I have never been. I recognize lesson in my situations and I even appreciate them because I truly do want to be my best self but more specifically I to be free from this cycle for life this time.    

Moon bounce


Today may be a bit bumpy emotionally as the moon is involved in several uncomfortable or unfavorable aspects with other planets. So be careful not to let it get you too down. The first thing to remember is that you are a concentration of universal consciousness. We are all a part of this infinite whole and therefore subject to its shifts undulations. Noone of us is ever alone in the ebbs and flows that we feel. We can get so wrapped in ego based concern for maintaining a certain image when if we could only feel free to reach out we would have confirmation from those around us that these are universal emotions.

We have to use our capacity for memory constructively in the way it is there to be used. To remember the lessons that we have learned and the accomplishments we have made as individuals. Mentally, spiritually and emotionally you are not the same as you were last year or the year before. The events of your life have given you opportunities for growth. Some you have taken advantage of and some you will see again cloaked in a new time slot. Your life is not pass or fail unless you make it that way, use the experience so when the cycle repeats you are ready to move forward. Sometimes one has to stop and use the progress of the past as an island to escape drowning in the emotional tides of the moment, then they recede.

Our memory is so often hijacked by this mind control matrix we live in. In which we are taught to look to outward symbols to mark our progress. Were taught to want all these stupid fleeting tangible possessions and that those who haven’t acquired them are some how less than fit for this life. Were tricked and deluded into using our memories to undo ourselves, to use our past failures as excuses to not try, to beat ourselves up with them so we feel like shit. When we focus on feeling like shit we attract more things that make us feel that way. Memory is a tool for our learning don’t allow it to be turned into a weapon for your oppression or destruction.

Rejection projection

I was just thinking about the concept that our world is a projection of our perception of the information we receive. Therefore the people in our lives are a projection of a part of us. There behavior plays out our issues in a context that make them more concrete, gives them some meat so they are easier to identify and change if we choose to. I think about times in my past when I have come up against resistance in some way from another person. The knee jerk reaction was the thought of how whatever adjective fit, that person was and how they were blocking what I was trying to do. The reality is when I think back there was some block in my own energy, in my own mentality that kept the corporeal block in place. Think about it this way… if one is always concerned about being betrayed they will treat people in a way that begets betrayal. They may go through loved one’s things for instance. At some point the object would find out they were being spied on. This would cause them to protect say a sensitive text message from a family member in a way that could come off suspicious and the cycle begins one side of the situation fueling the other. At some point the object of suspicion will realize there is nothing they can do and want out! If this person is not the type to face situations head on they may stick around and do all kinds of resentful things and the person with the issue gets what they where expecting. Don’t get me wrong because I’m not implying that everything we go through in life is your own fault in fact I’m sure most of it is not but neither are the issues. I’ve noticed that what one applies conscious and even subconscious energy to is what will expand. Therefor any interaction focused in negativity will nurture and expand negativity and that means a friendship, a marriage or even a familial relationship. I Iearned of a tragedy today that got me thinking of the fragility of life on this plane. I know that conscious essence is eternal but the people who we know and love here are a combination of that and the body, the ego, the psychology. All of which are things that could be factors in why we appreciate them. There are people I know in this life cycle that i’m sure I have known in others. I cherish looking in these people’s eyes, not the iris but the deepest part of them the essence of them because thats what is familiar to my spirit. The body they animate is known by this body and the truth is no matter how much spiritual growth one sees these parts of our being are intrinsically linked. There is no escaping the fact that this body will miss theirs in the event something happens so I revel in and appreciate the corporeal contact were capable of in this moment. I guess what I’m saying is give more hugs, express your caring, have more sex, be vulnerable with the respective appropriate parties because these bodies are once in a life time and the point of them is to facilitate contact. Really whats the worst that could happen?

Visit my Etsy shop!

Visit my Etsy shop!
My Etsy shop is now open. I make all natural products from %100 chemical free ingredients. I started with grooming products and will add products gradually. This it the system that I have worked out for my own facial routine so I am presenting it to you powered by my own love for it. These products leave my skin smooth and balanced and the experience is sensually pleasant, because they are made from delicious ingredients. This is a project I have been working on for a while now. About a year studying and experimenting with ingredients and a couple weeks making myself comfortable with the shop. I have been working, drawing from my knowledge of biology and nutrition to work out safe natural formulas that get the job done. These products are made with many ingredients found in kitchens all over the world that are proven moisturizers, zit zappers, cleansers and oil balancers. I firmly believe that if an ingredient can’t be beneficial inside the body then it’s probably not that great for the skin.



My yoga mat is home for me, it nurtures and facilitates my spiritual growth. It’s seen me through so much upheaval and I’ve had 3 very intense spiritual experiences on it. The energy produced by an event like that changes molecular structure because basically its all light. This mat is not the mat it was when I bought it. I am not the person I was when I did either, both are literally different substances. With that said the mat has become a conduit for universal energy. An amplifier to the frequency of my own life force, modifying my cells’ ability to interact with energy at different frequencies. My perception is different therefore my reality is different because from my matter’s perspective the frequency of all the energies in my environment are different. I know how convoluted this sounds, but as I write this I visualize the thought process as an infinity sign (image above). No edges no end no beginning, ever flowing or like looking in two facing mirrors, everything just a smaller version of everything else contained within itself. We are cells to the planet, photons (particles of light energy) to the universe. 

What has happened is that the experiences I have had with the mat, or the interactions we have had has altered our molecular structure so that we activate each other like enzyme and substrate. When combined we become super conductive and this is the bases for it all. It has nothing to do with any of the philosophies of india or any others. It’s self observation and the practice of reuniting my consciousness droplet with the universal consciousness ocean. Focusing on my body and breath help me to transcend the usual spiritual containers not some philosophy. This has always been the case when I think about it, this innate tendency to stretch and strengthen my body was there before I knew much about yoga. I suspect there are practices that work a lot better for other people looking to achieve what I am. It’s an individual journey and one has to find what works for them. In the deepest part of us we crave reunion with the wholeness of the universal consciousness. When we find the catalysts for reunion it will take on the feel of home for the spirit as is the doorway to our beginnings. The best part is that I can roll my doorway to eternity up and take it where ever I go, I’m always at home.

Love and light.         

Only this moment.

The mind can be a cruel trickster. The present, the moment your in in this instant is a tricky thing. Because although it’s all we have, our actions right now are governed by two other points in time on either side of it mentally. Our state of being in the present, is directed by both the memory of moments that no longer exist, which we call the past and the isolation of a few infinite possible moments that don’t exist yet called futures. No one wins every prize they set out for and thats definitely ok, the problem is that its immensely difficult to wrap ones mind around the fact that a failure has no connection to future success or failure. We cling to current circumstances out of fear of repeating past failures even when we don’t know what we are doing. So then this leaves our present at the mercy of our minds’ projection of our future as well. When more closely examined maybe the fear is more based in what people think, other’s perception of us in the context of judging our failures. In any case I realize now that I have found myself perplexed watching this situation play out in my life and the life of others many times. A pattern that like many other divisive mental pattern that present during ones life cycle when seen for what it is dissolves… if you want it to of course. This moment is all we have and I’m deciding to never squander another one of my right nows. Failures, fuck ups and snags are a part of the journey and tools for learning. I’ll never let the prospect stifle my expression again, because the truth is when I think about it anything I’ve done worth doing I was a little bit scared before I did it and didn’t even remember the fear after.

This was posted by someone I follow on Instagram and I use it as an affirmation, it feels relevant in this moment…

I am a creative limitless spirit.

I create space for the things I want in my life.

I recognize and seize my opportunities.

Peace and pleasure.

Reflection on Vday 2

Well… 2014 has started off with a bang for sure. There was definitely just a tremor. Not really sure what’s going on here but there was snow for two days, more snow than I have ever seen this far south. This has been a wild month for this one and an amazing day. I have to say the universal consciousness feels electric today. It’s like I can feel you all, all of a sudden, and it feels good. I don’t give a shit how strange you think I am, I feel like I have been reaching into the ether and pulling back handfuls of love all day. Maybe even sensing somethings I shouldn’t, but its all love ☺. Now thats what I call a day thats supposed to be about love. Celebrating vday or not I hope you all had as interesting a day as I have.

Good night.