Road trips and gratitude

…And I’m back in New England. A change of scenery was in order and an order of business had to be busied. As I worked my way to the end of phase 1 of my planting I couldn’t help but focus on the impending court drama. I came to the conclusion that the only reason to delay any longer would have been fear and I make it a rule never to give in to fear of anything. So I packed my little blue car with essentials including a few snacks and set out north. Estimating the drive at 14 hours because I had seen this conservative number somewhere online. Maybe I never actually did, maybe it was an automatic mental defense to keep me motivated who knows. In the end the drive was more like 16.5 hours and although it may seem silly those extra 2.5 hours were crucial! I reached the edge of Connecticut and for a second I felt the surge of warmth that comes with reaching one’s destination. But this was an illusion! As I drove through the little towns, past the little gas stations the faces in the other cars had melted away. I felt as mechanical as my car, I suppose I could feel the results of our chemical combination. Panic began to set in. I appreciate my talent for connecting with things that I interact with but sometimes it leaves me open to things like this. I had a minor meltdown on the phone with my friend that forced all the feelings up and out so that I could complete my journey.

I arrived only to have the whole thing postponed AGAiN. But it was definitely ok because I had come to realize something. All of a sudden while making some seed beds I was overcome by a sense of gratitude for the person who sucked me into the situation. I was thrown into a state of burnout that made me reprioritize my life right then and there. My life was thrown into complete disarray, a state of pure creative potential energy and boy did I create. I built this site and started a garden that will produce food long after I leave it alone. I found sanctuary and healing right under my nose, with my family and in the foundations of my life. The timing of everything was even perfect for me to bring all my projects to a point of stability. By the time that time was pressing toward me I was ready to be back in the grind and the familiar burn for adventure was back. I had secured myself  a car and therefor my own means of getting anywhere. I had the contacts I made before I left and I sensed they were solid so I rang them up. I was able to retreat reset and go for it again harder better stronger and smarter. I had already turned the hassle into an opportunity, that is what it is and I’m grateful for all of my opportunities. I arrived on 4/14 I have been working since 4/16 I’ve been offered a permanent living arraignment already. I left The carolinas with $200. It cost me $175 in gas and tolls to arrive in the kingdom of taxachussets. I had $24 on 4/15, but by 4/16 I was comfortable with food, gas, and I had money in my pocket because of a little help from a sympathetic friend and a great tip. It all worked out and I saw my situation doing just that from the outset.

I’m thoroughly enjoying my life at this point, more so than at any other time in my life. I do only what I want to do, and I spend my days doing what I love or working toward my own goals. I fought and raged for freedom from this system designed to feed off my spiritual energy. But through an attempt to ruin my life I was granted my freedom through my own thinking. Having everything stripped away that way taught me that my agenda is of supreme importance because those things are a part of my life path, not punching a clock or working to make some asshole rich. My life Is exactly as I decided to have it be and I’m so grateful. I’m still stabilizing and working toward maximum security as most of us are but this is exactly the way I envisioned doing it a long time ago. I control my own schedule and I’m free to be anywhere when I need to be. Whenever I need to be with family I can clear my calendar and head to SC, something I never saw the importance of until I had to do it. It’s something I have been in a position to do for a year and 1/2, now I just appreciate it enough to allow it to make me happier. Yes sometimes even though a situation may be based in evil towards you it can bring you good and growth. The intent was definitely negative but that doesn’t change the fact that her role as a catalyst for transformation was integral.   So now you can wipe the perplexed look off your face, the one I got from my granny and my friends. I’m seriously grateful and for good reason.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥roadtrips&gratitude



IMG_1791Here is a little of my art and more of what I have been up to these past few weeks. I haven’t been able to draw anything for a while, in fact I had been feeling creatively blocked! I know now I wasn’t blocked it was that my creative energy was tied up in projects I didn’t yet know the nature of. My energy wanted to create life not art, after I applied my creative energy to fulfilling my spiritual needs, growing food I was released again to create visual art. As soon as I got things in the ground I knew I needed a pad to draw. I went out and got one and as soon as I got it home these two sprang from me. It’s like they where waiting to be created. The drawing on the bottom will get more shading work but the one on top may actually be done. Breathe is just the word that came to mind as I looked at them both.


Dream germinate pt. 2

I have been M.I.A. for a while and I have to say I have missed sitting down and sharing whats going on in my head. This is all very therapeutic for me in fact. There is something in sharing my thoughts that releases the energy to be used for other things, but alas some things are all consuming for me such as hammering out my personal projects. There has been so much happening both in my mind and physically, nothing too dramatic just… consuming. Well at any rate lets catch up, here is a little of what I have been up to…

IMG_1737I had been waiting for the last frost date much of the winter. I was stoked to finally be able to get some things in the ground and although I underestimated the amount of work required It feels good to be tired at the end of the day from doing only what I want to do. I’m excited about this bed for sure. Spinach & Collards


IMG_1732Earthworms are always a great sign of good things going on in your soil and this guy was FAT. This worm stretched almost across the other side of my hand as well. lettuces will be sharing a home with this worm in a couple months.



IMG_1725This was the best part for me! It was truly a gift for me to be able to share my limited knowledge about something I feel such fire for with children. Jada and Akima expressed interest in learning a bit about gardening so we made a date. Its been said that the best way to learn is by teaching. 🙂 It’s definitely the most fulfilling and I think we all felt smarter.

♥ ♥