For more than a month now I have been mulling over and over the concept of power. What is it really? The question was almost an evil one to ask myself because it definitely sent me down a rabbit hole. This life has showed me power playing its watery nature out ubiquitously from day one. I think of it this way now because it is everywhere, our reality is immersed in the fabric of it. humans on one level or another are constantly playing for power with out even realizing what we are doing. This I am beginning to think may be a part of human nature and I didn’t always think so. I do rethink this statement constantly because for all of collective human memory we have been in this position. Submerged in a perpetual power play between forces unseen on a grand scale and what do you know the same drama plays out in our own lives daily. This constant tug of war between individuality and society; the individual and the powers that be in any given situation; the individual and other individuals. This being our reality I struggle with whether the capitalistic trait is due to nature or nurture.
The government asks for taxes, we pay and none of us have any Idea what they are to be used for unless you are smart enough to see the connetion between our country’s economic practices and its propensity for warmongering. Regardless of what we all want or need income and other taxes are collected faithfully and were blatantly confronted constantly with how much debt we’re in. We comply because we’re well aware that “they” have the power to take away our freedom. All of this serves to establish clearly in our mentalities where power lies. Everyday when you go out into the world you are being reminded of someone’s power over you. You walk the streets with the police who make you feel protected and watched over in exchange for your remaining in line and doing what you are told. Get “out of line” with a police officer and get a glimpse of the lengths people are willing to go to maintain an extremely fragile emotional state. That based on the illusion of power over others, over life, over things outside of ourselves. I have been told that I could be arrested for using the word fuck when talking to a police officer and I have been told to “shut up” at least 3 times in my life by police officers.
This does not make these people bad in my opinion, its their reaction to a structure they can’t even see. How should I expect them to react to me seeing something they don’t see and therefore acting in a way that they perceive as counterproductive and sassy? Then you go to work and feel the heel of the higher ups on your neck daring you to get out of line, your livelihood is leverage. This is where it gets deeper, each of them has a higher up leveraging their livelihood against them and so do the police. The reward being, getting the opportunity for release by exerting power over someone else and oh do we find release in that. Even romantic and familial love for most is a micro level recital of this dance fight for power. People are in love with others and vying for control of the person’s will rather than their heart. But truly is not even pure real love about 2 or more people handing over some power over their emotions to each other, are not all partnerships a power balance?
I suppose the way I’m seeing it right this moment is just that way. I do believe that we have always instinctually formed partnerships and groups. Natural power structures have always existed and I suppose that like anything else in life its a constant balancing act that produces success and longevity. Maybe power playing in some form is innate, the dance being ingrained in our very proliferating behaviors. I suppose in matters of love though my advice would be to give and give no regard to receiving power. I would never want to reduce my loved ones’ freedom even unconsciously, so I have resolved to only give my emotional power. That way I have no doubt anything I get back is real and especially for me. See power is an illusion because one will never have security in another’s love allegiance or loyalty and it doesn’t matter how we intimidate each other into doing what we want, that reality stands. Tactics are fragile because they are not capable of motivating behavior like pure emotions. When someone is loyal to you because thats what they want to do because they love you they will behave that way regardless of intimidation or your level of power in the world. The reality is the only power that is real is personal power, the power one has over themselves to be a person worthy of outward power these people are granted authority by their very environment.