Deadly disastrous delusion

I was sitting looking at the foggy morning sky and thinking about the recent wave of change unrest and strange occurrences from my perspective. Specifically the violent protests having broken out recently, like those folks at the White House. Now anyone who knows me knows I stay away from the networks for my peace and psychological balance but I learn of big events through friends and family. About a week ago I opened the door from where I sleep when I’m at my aunt’s house and was stopped by the seen! I subsequently became interested in analyzing the people around me’s response to it 😁. At any rate it gave me a good chance to see what effect this psycho-bomb had on everyone else, ya know what their thoughts started doing🤯. Right off the bat I noticed comparisons to the BLM ✊🏾 protests last year in the wake of actual police violence. As you could imagine I resented the comparison. This was crazy af and orchestrated out of total and blinding depression thinly veiled by anger. Out of complete disregard for each other’s lives and some weird death wish because they just cannot bear to live in an equal and loving society. So there I said that. Things have changed since last year and even more since 2019. BLMs actions in 2020 where an outward representation of something I have felt happening for most of my life a deepening of equality. Really driving in the message that inequality and even systemic racism will not be tolerated. Now I know enough about human psychology to make some valid connections between history the present and the behaviors I am aware of. Mostly I am an empath and I feel all the feelings including collective ones and every once in a while I can feel a decision that will create a big event. I felt this in the middle of the night about 4 months ago but I can’t make sense of this stuff most of the time. There are some people very shaken by the dismantling of white privilege and its mechanisms such as systematic racist structures. Some of these people will purport to have brown friends and family they love and that’s the thing! It’s not as simple as skin color anymore some people have become understandably very comfortable and very wealthy on the strength of feeling better than or more worthy than someone else. Living very well under an image maintained by media and marketing while stereotyping and marginalizing some. The fact is there are an awful lot of people very attached to privilege some unknowingly and some knowing well. To feel equality slipping in and privilege based on nothing slip away is very upsetting for these folks because they are so use to operating under their perception of being privileged. Whereas nepotism and racist standards kept things inequitable for a long while now it is easier to share information, highlighting these tactics. Now there is almost nowhere for anyone to hide behavior like this so people are more careful both because they know more and because they don’t want to get exposed for ignorance. What these people need to realize though is that for those in the most powerful positions it all has been more about what you have and who you know for a while and nepotism just kept the more coveted positions in society for whiter folks. They were never going to get much for said privilege anyway except maybe some nicer treatment from someone ignorant here and there. In this day and age if you want to excel you have to actually be skilled. The problem is that same old separatists conditioning that step by step process of installing fears and misinformation so we think in terms of us and them. The stereotypes are perpetuated by media thereby keeping them strongly reinforced so people go out and connect with each other under the preconceptions of these stereotypes, not hearing or seeing others as they really are. It prevents us from seeing how same we are, how we are human above all identity politics. Keeps us from seeing that obvious common thread of fear and anger. I have noticed more diversity in media lately by I also don’t consume very much of it and I think this happens as leadership changes from generation to generation. When I take this entire period into consideration I see a theme. All the depth and being forced to look at the dark and murky, so we can’t hide our issues from ourselves anymore has been so we fix them. I feel it is our universe roughing us up a bit to show us that we can’t keep treating each other the way we have. We have collectively had more time to think and process where we are going wrong. This time has highlighted how badly we have been treating the environment. It has showed why wealth disparity is problematic. Most striking to me is we are seeing how the delusions we had developed the stereotypes we had programmed into our minds are deadly. The message is clear for me we must leave behind that old us vs them paradigm for survival honestly how is this knowledge not innate in all of us. I didn’t distinguish differences in skin until someone else showed me how to do that. That wasn’t natural to me, I don’t think it is natural at all. When I was about 8 I had a friend named Josh who got mad at our teacher and called her a slur in conversation with me. He was venting to his friend and it was like he didn’t realize I would identify enough with Mrs Cooper for it to bother me. He looked surprised when he saw me reel back in shock and hurt. I will never forget because I learned something that day while losing my innocence. He expected me to identify more with him, so much so that the slur would mean nothing to me. He wasn’t the real definition of racist because few people are. He didn’t think he was better or more powerful than Mrs cooper when he said what he did. He was lowered, disempowered, angry and maybe hurt because the powerful adult had thwarted his will somehow, she had chastised him. I knew what had happened immediately. He felt sameness inside like me but he was angry and regurgitated that response programmed into him by his elders. He sabotaged our friendship as he had been programmed to do and that is how racist divisionary fuckery has endured for so long. I believe most Americans have had this moment where identity politics were forced on us often low key painfully. I have been disappointed in myself in the past for not standing up to it strongly enough. For saying something or thinking something division oriented because it is hard to stay neutral when you see this happening around you and you’re angry! I know. I always come around to just being a human though above any of the possible little variations. Variations so trivial we might not notice unless we have been programmed to.💜

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